i hate blogs... they hurt more then words sometime.

i havent been on this bitch in a long ass time. if i can remember i will post more. i'm currently stoned and have quite missed the feelings. i am currently stoned for the wrong reasons but i dont want to be aware of things currently. it pisses me off that when you tell a boy that you care deeply for them, they of course reply with the same but with some legalities; he's not ready. i am no longer giving up my strong hold in something. i told him i would wait. that was not wise. but when i say waiting, in my mind it means "i'll wait for you to be ready to be with me." not exactly, "i'll wait for you to be ready to be with me... so in th mean time i'll deal with you slutting around." that kinda fucks things up a little bit if you ask me. i just dont want to do what i did last time. i cant handle it. i hate it when the one person you dont want to believe is the one person you should have.